I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
