I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
