I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
