I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
