Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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