I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
