I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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