under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
