Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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