Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
