How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
