if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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