If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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