No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
