I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
