If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
