Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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