Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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