so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
