How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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