Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
