hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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