where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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