when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize