chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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