I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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