i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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