Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
