Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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