I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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