i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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