Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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