I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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