oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
