just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
