Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
