Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
