just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
