I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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