I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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