Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
this hospital has no fireball
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
