Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
why is half of my head shaved?
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