I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This is my gift to your gina
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
