So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
