We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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