i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
