So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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