She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
