I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just took my morning after pill in the library
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
