On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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