This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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