I'm eating all of the evidence.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
