i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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