The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
