If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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