I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
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She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
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I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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