i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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