That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
