Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
