The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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