Banned from zoo.
Again?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
