I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
