So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
